The Continuing Decline Of Western Civilization

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"Whoville changed everything" - The War on Christmas

Over at the Fafblog, fafnir revealed the following:

"Secularists do not believe in jollity," says Giblets. "They believe in a series of random chemical processes which over millions of years have created the appearance of jollity."
"Secularists don't decorate Christmas trees," says me. "They decorate Secularmas trees, which are big holes dug in the ground to demonstrate the absence of trees."
"On Secularmas, they do not exchange presents," says Giblets. "They exchange identical cardboard boxes filled with rocks and mold and broken childhood dreams and nothing!"
"But even so," says me, "maybe we can make peace with the secularists by comin to understand their strange but unique culture."
"Never!" says Giblets. "That would only embolden them to steal Christmas again! Whoville changed everything!"

Which has inspired me to check in with the troops, and present unto ye unbelievers The State Of The War On Christmas (as well as Hannukah and Kwanza, and their eventual replacement with Secularmas) Address. The SOTWOCA, for short. Sort of rolls off the tongue, eh?

The news is sad my friends. I have been out there, on the front lines, blowing out candles in churches and drawing mustaches on sleeping christmas tree salesmen, but I cannot stand alone. The TWU has renounced its support for the war by calling off its strike. They did some good, that's true, and we thank them for it. But now they return to their jobs and their families, and it is clear that the war was just a vacation for them.

We are still trying to recover from the fall of the Soviet Union, and we feel the lose of their financial and ideological support greatly. Recent attempts have been made to enlist Chinese aid, but their international efforts are focused solely on Africa and SE Asia. I wish them luck in their endeavors, but we must strive forward alone.

There is some cause for hope. Our friends in the Liberal Media continue in their campaign of mis-information and ridicule. And those on the far right continue to sound like fools. O'Reilly remains dangerous however. He has progressed from Henry Ford, who thought that the WOC was being prepetrated by the Jews, and lays the blame squarely at the feet of 'secular progressive movement'. Of course, John Gibson points out that the Jews are in on it too, along with the trial lawyers. So we've dodged the bullet for now.

Remember to redouble your efforts as the weekend approaches, and don't let up until every foul decoration is in tatters. It may not happen this year, but every stride helps, and we can win this thing.

posted by tcdowc - 6:55 pm - 12.22.05

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